July 15, 2008
I’m often answering etiquette questions about to the workplace. Some questions relate to workplace relationships or workplace politics. However, the vast majority of questions I receive are related to non other than email. Here’s a question I recently received from a frequent reader…
Dear Pleasantly Polite, I’m often asked to email customers or suppliers who I’ve not met before (in person, via the phone, or via email). I feel a bit awkward because I’m often asking something of this person. Is there a catchy way to build a professional report without stating the obvious? I feel that coming right out and asking them to do something for me may seem rude. Any suggestions would be a great help. Awkward Emailer
Well, Akward Emailer, I agree that it’s best to avoid the generic “My name is … and I need …” Although it certainly gets right to the point, that approach does little to foster a professional relationship – one you can count on for some time to come. I suggest you rely on the person who asked you to make the contact. A simple “… suggested I contact you in regards to a project I’m currently undertaking.” Then you can graciously ask for their help. Using a mutual contact will help the stranger recognize who you are give them some insight as to why you’re contacting them. Another possibility is to have that mutual contact make an email introduction on your behalf. Of course, all parties should be included in a simple email which includes a few lines of introduction on each person.
Is the etiquette at your job a bit challenged? Keep checking Pleasantly Polite for more posts from “In the workplace.” And as always, please feel free to email me at pleasantlypolite@gmail.com with any etiquette questions you may have!
July 14, 2008
Happy Bastille Day! In honor of France’s Independence, I’m compelled to celebrate with a perfectly chilled bottle of Champagne.
For all you Bastille Day host out there, here’s a quick refresher on how to properly serve a bottle of bubbly:
- Start off by chilling the bottle. The best serving temperature is around 45° Fahrenheit.
- Once you’ve gotten the bottle to the right temperature, use a towel to dry off the bottle (you’ll need a a good grip). Remove the foil from the top of the bottle in preparation for and remove the wire cage. Be sure to use caution by placing your thumb over the cork and since some bottles have enough pressure built up to have the cork pop when the cage is taken off.
- Angle the bottle at about 45 degrees away from people and valuables (just in case the cork get away from you). With one had gripping the cork and the other gripping the fatter end of the bottle, slowly turn the bottle gently and slowly (never the cork) until you hear a tiszzzz sound. You’re not looking to get a large pop sound (unless, of course, it’s New Year’s Eve or in a locker room after a Stanley Cup victory).
- The secret to serving champagne is to just pour a bit, about an ounce or two fingers worth, of the wine into the glass. You’ll want to use a tall champagne flute or tulip-shaped glass to get the best results. Wait for the initial foaming bubbles to subside, then pour again until about two-thirds of the glass is full. This method will avoid the mess of the foam spilling over the sides of the glass.
- An elegant and practical touch is to keep the bottle in the ice bucket whenever you aren’t pouring.
A votre santé!
July 3, 2008
I’m off to Hawaii for some fun in the sun and super relaxation! Hawaii is a favorite vacation spot for my family because all the stresses of life back home melt away as soon as you step off the plane. Hawaii is an incredibly welcoming place – the people of Hawaii and the nature of the islands are laid back and pleasant!
I’ve always been touched by the idea of living Aloha! A simple look at the word Aloha helps to explain why.
A is for AKAHAI, meaning kindness, to be expressed with a feeling of tenderness.
L is for LÔKAHI, meaning unity, to be expressed with a feeling of harmony.
O is for `OLU`OLU, meaning agreeable, to be expressed with a feeling of pleasantness.
H stands for HA`AHA`A, meaning humility, to be expressed with a feeling of modesty.
A stands for AHONUI, meaning patient, to be applied with perseverance.
I can’t wait to write about all the wonderful ways I live Aloha over the next week!
July 2, 2008
As you’re heading off to a friend’s or neighbor’s place for your next summer bbq, don’t forget to bring a little something along for the host(ess). It’s always appropriate to thank someone (whether you’ve known them 5 days or 15 years) for the invitation. Your gift doesn’t need to be elaborate, but as with any token of thanks, it should come from the heart. Here are a few I tend to rely on. They are thoughtful and a quick pick-up!
I’ve always loved outdoor games during picnics and family gatherings. How about bringing a croquet set or frisbee to your next picnic? Garden games can be as much fun for the big kids as well as the little ones and you’re host can enjoy these games during future outdoor picnics.
Will your day be spent at the lake or by the pool? We always bring a floaty along for fun! Some of my favorite finds this summer include the pirate ship float, the aqua rocker, and the coconut floating pool bar equipped with an ice bucket and a slot for everyone’s beverage!
Wine is a very practical gift but I like to include a little something your host can keep on enjoying. I recently came across a garden beverage holder set that are spikes you push into the grass. The sets come with a beverage holder and two glass holders and are perfect for an outdoor concert or a picnic for two!
Keep reading →
June 26, 2008
A recent client needed to know how to properly address several divorced women she was inviting to her wedding. Of course she wanted to be as delicate as possible to follow proper protocol since some were recently divorced.
When addressing a divorcee you should first and foremost know if she kept her married name or her reverted to using her maiden name. If she uses her married name for social purposes you would address her by either Mrs. Jane Fisher or Ms. Jane Fisher. Both Mrs. and Ms. are acceptable in today’s day (although has not always been the case – I’m sure I’ll write on titles for females soon!) but my general rule of thumb is for those over 40 Mrs. is most age appropriate. Of course, if your guest refers to herself as Ms, no matter her age, you’ll need to follow suite. You must always avoid using their formal married name (Mrs. James Fisher) since this is sure to offend.
Those who revert to using their maiden name can either be addressed as Ms. or Mrs. (Ms. Jane Kelly or Mrs. Jane Kelly). Again, I determine the Ms. or Mrs based on her age or on how she addresses herself.
From time to time, I’ll feature questions client’s pose. If you have a question for Pleasantly Polite please don’t hesitate to ask!
June 25, 2008
I know you have the best intentions but it’s inevitable … at some point it will happen … you will be face to face with someone and have no idea where you met them or worse what their name is! Whenever this happens to me I feel awful. Of course I’m embarrassed, but I try never to show that embarrassment and I don’t panic! Here are a few common sense tips to help you get out of such a bind!
1. If you’re alone with the person start or keep the conversation going with basic chit chat. Ask them questions to keep them talking. Something they say may give you a clue into their name or where you met them.
2. If you’re with a friend, try making an “mini” introduction by only offering your friends name. The other party will certainly offer their hand and their name is quick to follow!
What the expert says …
Emily Post offers another practical approach. You can always “apologize quickly and say that you’ve suddenly forgotten the person’s name.” Easy and quite polite!
No matter how you handle the situation try to avoid acting as if you don’t know the person at all! That’s certainly an easy way to hurt someones feelings!
June 24, 2008
The pineapple has been one of my favorite symbols of a hospitality and human connection ever since I was young. I always loved the brass pineapple which adorned our front door. I thought it was such a proper hello for all our guests. The pineapple motif can be used throughout your home to express welcome and warmth. It’s also a wonderful symbol to use is social stationery. In fact, one of the best wedding invitations I’ve received was adorned with a beautiful pineapple design on each page.
Of course I’m not alone in my admiration for the symbol. Ever the historian, I did a bit of exploring on the how the pineapple became known as the ultimate symbol of hospitality. Here’s just a bit of the pineapple’s long history…
- Unique to South America, the pineapple became a popular culinary staple of the Caribbean when explorers and native traders transported them to the islands.
- Christopher Columbus introduced Renaissance Europe to the fruit. It quickly became a favorite food of aristocratic society.
- Colonial Americans used food and festivities to gain a sense of community in their new home. Pineapples could be found on tablescapes across the colonies. It’s no surprise that the exotic fruit quickly became synonymous with welcoming guests.
- Back in Europe, royalty used pineapples to decorate their gardens. They also began showing up in paintings and sculptures.
For the complete story, visit http://www.levins.com/pineapple.html
June 20, 2008
Spelling I don’t! It won’t take you long to realize it’s not my strong suit. From bachalorette to social stationary to occaission, it’s sometimes tough for me to get it right.
My mother always said it was a sign of genius, but I think she was just being polite!
Of course, when spelling does matter (addressing envelopes, writing a business letter, most of the time) make sure you double and triple check as I’ve learned to do.
June 19, 2008
Hello indeed!
Please allow me to introduce myself. Hi, I’m Erin Miller. This is my first blog post and I’m very excited you’re reading it.
Meeting new people is one of the most thrilling things in the world for me. You never know who you’ll meet and what sort of impact that person will have on your life. It may be exciting, but it’s not always easy to meet new people. A good introduction is a true skill and an important one at that. When introducing myself in a social setting, I try to give people hints about my personality and perhaps a little something to help start a conversation.
With that being said, I’ll share a few things about myself. I grew up in North Carolina and often miss the laid back lifestyle of my youth. I’ve given that up for the hustle and bustle of D.C. and my owning my own business (www.hautepapier.com). I met my husband eight years ago and can safely say it was love at first sight (for me anyways)! I’m a music fanatic and you can often catch me belting it out in the comfort of my own car. If I could sit and chat with one person for an afternoon, it would definitely be Mike Krzyzewski.
I’m starting the blog to help my many friends and clients who ask for hints on social graces. Be it etiquette tips or entertaining advice I’m always here to help! Feel free leave comments if you have any questions.
Talk to you soon!
