A friend called yesterday to complain about her neighbor and the old apartment building where she resides. The problem is that her upstairs neighbor likes to exercise (at all hours of the day) and the noise from her exercise comes down into her apartment. She lives in one of those Washington buildings that is about 100 years old and is totally charming if only you owned the place and you didn’t have to deal with the noise of all your neighbors. My friend explained that she felt quite awkward asking her neighbor to stop exercising since she doesn’t know her well and, of course, her neighbor does live there too. She feels that she would be telling the woman what to do in her own home. My friend also feels a bit strange confronting her neighbor because she is exercising and doesn’t want the woman to feel as though she is making too much noise because she is heavy. As my friend so pointedly put it “she’s the size of a mouse but it sounds like an elephant is coming through our ceiling.” And since I’m a good friend and I can’t usually stop myself from putting in my two cents, I quickly pointed out that her anxiety over the situation could be easily calmed.
Therefore, with the absolute belief that neighborly peace is vital to everyone’s wellbeing I offered my friend this suggestion. First, keep breathing. Yes, no one likes to be disturbed in their own home when they are trying to relax. And yes, 11 pm is absurdly late to start an aerobics program in an old building when you have downstairs neighbors. But, I’m fairly confident that the goal of your at-all-other-times extremely cordial neighbor was not to annoy, frustrate, or otherwise anger you by exercising so late at night (whew! this always giving people the benefit of the doubt stuff is pretty hard sometimes)! With that idea in mind, it’s pretty easy to allow the blood to flow to other areas besides your head. And it is with this spirit that you should kindly (and without a hint of irritation) go upstairs knock gently on her door and let her know that the noise from her exercising is disturbing you. Explain to her the volume at which her exercise enters your apartment is quite loud, while quickly blaming the noise on the old building. Tell her that you understand she must be busy and trying to squeeze in a quick workout when she can, but that you wake up early to get to work and your usually in bed by 10 pm. Ask her if she wouldn’t mind keeping her workouts to the early evening hours. I stress that this needs to be an in-person conversation and not a note or a phone call. If your neighbor is a good one, she’ll stop the excessive noise at late hours and if you’re a good neighbor you’ll need to put up with her exercising during acceptable hours. If it really bothers you during those times, perhaps it would be a good time for you to get out of the house and take a nice stroll around the block. A little exercise and fresh air has never hurt anyone!
I can understand you’re friends frustration although I have abit of my own from the otherside. I, too, live in an old apartment and if I make just the smallest amount of noise my ederly neighbor starts banging on my walls! It has gotten so bad – I walk around my own place and there she is screaming that I’m too loud. I got so annoyed that I decided to move! Any chance your friend can?